What Kind Of Angler Are You?
The fishing world is made up of many different types of anglers; some like yourself, but others that may act a bit strange. I recently gave this issue much thought and decided to try and group the anglers by certain traits they were displaying. Here are what you readers need to be looking for next time you hit the water:
The New Fisherman – This guy is ready for anything and seems to enjoy everything about the sport. Long fishless days don’t mean a thing to this guy because he thinks this is just the way it’s supposed to be. Every trip to Wal Mart is an adventure as he continues to fill his tacklebox with exotic lures that a bass wouldn’t hit even if it was starving to death. Unlike me with my wore out boat batteries and ten year old trolling motor, everything that this guy has is new ….. and works,
The Tournament Fisherman – Driven is the only word that can describe this individual. He is a member of nine bass clubs and fishes every tournament available. This guy is so tight-lipped that he is often mistaken for a FBI or IRS agent. He spends three nights a week spooling new line on his reels and sharpening hooks while a video of Kevin Van Dam is playing in the background. Gas prices don’t bother this guy because during a tournament he will run from the dam to the upper reaches of the lake at least six times. He averages 28 casts per minute and spends an average of 3.14 minutes at each fishing location. This guy usually takes power fishing to a new level.
The Big Bass Fisherman – This guy could care less about catching “dinks” since his true passion is landing BIG bass. He glides into a fishing area by trolling motor and turns off all his electronics to be sure he doesn’t spook the lunkers. His fishing rod is an 8-foot super-heavy model designed for offshore tuna fishing and his reel is spooled with 250# braided fishing line. Baits of choice are a 2-foot plastic worm or a 3-ounce jig with an 8-inch pork trailer. Time means nothing to this angler so if you fish with him expect to stay in one spot for days at a time looking for that one big bite. He is also the guy that loves to fish in nasty weather. Bring your raingear.
The Grouchy Fisherman – This guy has never seen a half full glass because in his mind it is always half empty. Trouble seems to follow this individual around like a black cloud. He gripes about someone taking a few minutes launching their boat and then backs his rig into the water and ties up the launching area for twenty minutes as he sits there getting all his gear ready. This is the guy you hear at the weigh-in griping about the weather, the sorry fishing and everything else in general. Don’t fish close to this guy because he may spit tobacco juice in your boat.
The Loner Fisherman – This guy has a boat painted in full camouflage color because he doesn’t want anyone to know his secret fishing locations. He moves from trees to trees and stays low in his boat when casting to keep from being seen. He won’t fish an area if there is a boat within two blocks because he claims that the other angler will get a GPS reading on his secret fishing location. If you are looking for information forget asking this guy. He wouldn’t tell his mother where he caught his last fish.
The Optimist Fisherman – Regardless of how tough the fishing is this guy is sure that it is going to get better and better. Each fishing location is going to be more productive than the one he just left, and he is positive that by the end of the day his favorite plastic worm will not let him down. This guy is so sure he will catch fish that he always brings a camera along on the trip. He doesn’t worry about fishing 6-pound test line down in the trees and brush because in his opinion if you just keep a tight line on the fish and be patient it will come to the boat. Weather is not a problem for this guy because the sun will always be shining.
The Technical Fisherman – Thermoclines, GPS coordinates and downloading maps and coordinates are this guy’s cup of tea. He spends more time fooling with his six graphs that he has strategically mounted in the boat than fishing. Once the trip is over each minute detail is recorded in his computer program and then Excel graphs are produced showing seasonal patterns and what he did right (or wrong) that day. Then all the data is uploaded to his Nagahama software and viewed on his 94-inch plasma color TV. All of this information is then compared to past issues of BassMaster to see if there is any “trend” that he is missing. This guy takes every fishing magazine that is published and still seems starved for fishing information.
The Party Fisherman – This guy is so concerned about making sure that he has enough food and drinks in the boat that he often forgets his fishing tackle. Who cares if the fishing or weather is bad! That just gives more time to sitting in a cove listening to the U Shaved Head rock group and drinking beer. This guy can’t stand to go anywhere alone and usually has four or five “anglers” of his type in the boat. Don’t worry about asking him if he caught any fish because he hasn’t seen one on the end of his line for five years.
The Gambling Fisherman – Better bring some change when you fish with this guy because the rules will be:
Dollar on the first fish
Dollar on the most fish
Dollar on the strangest fish
Dollar on the longest fish
Dollar on the heaviest fish
Dollar on the smallest fish
Dollar on the first fish that looks like his sister
Dollar on the first fish that is cross-eyed
The Fashion Fisherman – This guy spends at least two hours in the morning jelling his hair and making sure that he is color coordinated. All his clothes have designer labels and his pants always show a crisp pleat. He is the one with the white oxford loafers and CostaX “Maui Hawaii Surfer” sunglasses. It takes this guy 30-minutes to select the correct fishing cap to wear and he wouldn’t be caught dead with his shirt-tail out. This guy seldom makes it to the winners circle but he sure looks great out on the lake.
The Dead-Beat Fisherman – This guy is using a Zebco 202 reel that he bought twenty years ago at a garage sale. The reel is on a metal rod that is missing four guides and his back-up rod is a cane pole. He carries all his fishing tackle in a coffee can and still has room for a couple cans of Vienna’s and Skoal. The last time he bought new fishing line was in 89’ and his boat has three rolls of duct tape over seams that are leaking. His boat trailer was made from the parts of two old cars that were welded together and his trailer tires have more patches than tread. Stay clear of this guy because he is always borrowing something that will never be returned.
Well there you are …. These are some of the traits you will probably see when you head to the lake this weekend. Wonder where you fit in?… JB
Thought For The Day – “Talent is God given, be humble. Fame is man-given, be grateful. Conceit is self given, be careful.”